The Way I loved You.

Today was a chill day. I finally got my classes for college! It's not that bad, I guess, but I still need to get an English class! Classes are so packed.
Here's my schedule:
MATH TUESWEDTHURS 11:00 AM - 12:25 PM
SOCIOLOGY MONWED 9:30 - 10:45 PM
HISTORY FRIDAYS 11:00 AM - 1:45 PM
Not bad? I really don't know. hahaha. I'm just glad I got it over
with and I finally took my picture for my CSUN ID! Yay.


Anyway,after a good talk w/my best friends, I've been having second thoughts
about how I feel about this certain person.


I don't know whether or not I should just stop before I get even more attached to him or if I should just keeep going. It just seems like I'm always the one putting more effort into everything and not him, which is not fair at all. I'm not entirely
sure how he even feels about me and if he's even worth any more of my time. I really don't know what to do. I want to believe that things will turn out how I want them
to. I want to believe that he's being honest with me. I want to believe that he does have feelings for me, but the signs that are being thrown right in front of my face are obviously some of the reasons why I shouldn't continue this "summer fling" that's happening. Summmer is almost over too, but what happens after that? Exactly, I don't know. My best friends say I should stop because they don't want to see me hurt, but what happens if I do stop? I'll be sitting here wondering what could've happened if I just kept going.
I'll just have yet another regret added to the pile of my other past regrets.
I just need hope.


“To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure,
but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in
life is to risk nothing.”

Back at one.

So didn't go to ABDC yesterday.. Randy couldn't go because he had to babysit.. and Che couldn't go because he had to run errands. I got so mad that plans didn't work out and I understand that it wasn't their fault, but I just hate it when plans don't follow through. Anyway, stayed home and then went to the mall and David's Bridal to look for a debut dress! I failed.. the dress I wanted was 400 bucks, which is waaay too much!
Blah blah blah. Then went home and Edward invited me to go play pool with him, Angel and Clarissa! So we went to the Canoga Park Bowling Alley and I totally sucked. I scratched almost every time and I lost every game, no matter who my partner was! I had some lucky shots though (; then after Angel said we should have a scavenger hunt! I had so much fun looooooooooooking for:

1. Water from the beach
2. Venti Starbucks Cup
3. Garage sale sign
4. A Rock as big as 2 fists together
5. A bag from the supermarket
6. A picture of a bus driver
7. An antenna ball from a car
8. Take a picture of a Red Mini Cooper
9. Double gulp cup
10.A Rose
11. Take a picture with a security guard
12. A picture of an 8foot statue
13. Picture of the floor from a 3rd story building
14. Random Object

Overall, I had a good night, even though I almost got arrested!
So we stopped and Edward told me to grab the orange cone
on the sidewalk.. so I ran out and was too scared to get it..
and then I got it and ran because two cop cars or whatever
came outta nowhere! I got so scared.. so Edward was hiding
the cone and I tried to act all cool while looking at my phone.
Blah blah blah. I loved tonight! I wanna do it again.
This was the only thing I won at tonight (:!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

<3333

Blah blah blah.

I had a weird dream this morning. In my dream, I woke up and checked my phone and saw that the date was "September 8" which is the day of my birthday and I started freaking out because there were 3 more days until my debut! I was going crazy because I didn't even get my debut dress yet, my centerpieces and didn't perfect my dances! When I really did wake up, I was like wtf! hahahaa. It's a sign. I should really be getting everything done as sooon as posssible! Anyway, I ended up staying at home the whole day......... Ugh! -_- I got ready and everything too hahaa, I hate you Che and I hope you're reading this!!! Just kidding.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to ABDC w/Randy.


It's his birthday present from me (: and Che might go too.
It will be fun. I neeeeeed to figure out what I'm going to wear though, blah. I guess I'll curl my hair tomorrow too (;

All I Do I is Think Of Youu.

My weekend was pretty chill! On Saturday, we had debut practice at my house again and it was fun. We learned more this time, but it's too bad Monika couldn't make it! I miss her already! Hahah.:( And yesterday we had debut practice at Mykka's house, which was fun too! Man I slept around two am yesterday and woke up at 2 in the afternoon! I felt like crap when I woke up and didn't want to open my eyes, haha. Then Janis drove all of us (Christina, Joel Jrod, Mykka, Randy, Paravee and I) to Jamba juice near the mall. Jrod treated me to Starbucks yay! We made a promise that I'd take him to the second episode of ABDC.. because I always get tickets. I'm excited to go tomorrow with hopefully Randy and Che. It's Randy's birthday present! Speaking of his birthday, it's in two days and I still haven't started on his card.. I've been tooo lazy to do it. And I finally got my debut invitations printed saturday.. they loook GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, but it's too bad I messed up on the time-_-... I put "6pm - 12pm" HAHAHAAHA LONG ASS PARTY. I hope I can go shop for my debut dress and centerpieces soon! I'm tired of waiting :((( Anyway, tomorow will hopefully be a great day because I might be hanging out with gay Che. ;P

Goooooooooodnight.
I'm not tired at all though.

Crazier.

This song is how I feel about life right now. Hahaha. :)
Anyway, we had debut practice at Janis's house and it
was so successful! We learned a dance with our partners
and Marvin is my partner, yay. We're amazing partners, lol.
We learned to waltz to the song that plays at the end
of Princess Diaries one. Man the choreographer is so
strict and mean.. Hahaha. I'm really excited for my
debut, Janis's debut, Moka's debut and Mykka's debut,
which is consecutive.

I'm just extremely happy with how things are going for me
rightnow.


"Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances,
losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories,
learning from the past, and realizing people change."

She Wolf

So yesterday was Mykka's first debut practice and it was fun! I hate having to fall to the flooor though.. it hurts my back and is scary. And I don't want to be lifted so high up! Blah blah blah. Then once practice was finished, I left with David and he took me home. I was too tired and wanted to sleep.

Blah blah blah blah. Last night was perfect and I'm so happy because of him.
I'm the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppiest girl in the world right now! (:
Enough said.

Tomorrow is another day of debut practice and then the day after that
it's my debut practice. Ohgahd I'm so tired of practicing!

Weightless.

I love Weightless by All Time Low. It's on repeat right now. Haha. Anyway David picked me up last night and we went to Jonathan's party.. but wow we got lost for like 40 fucking minutes! Oh god. Hahaha. The whole highlight of the party was bonding with one of my favorite seniors.. Sarah Wsiaki! We have so much in common, like seriously, and it was so fun catching up with her and gossiping. We were being so silly too.. running away and hiding in some random room just to talk. We spent most of the time outside in front of Jonathan's house on some inflatable mattress thing that Robyn brought. It was so peaceful outside too and it was the perfect weather! Blah blah blah. Dylan is so funny too and Bianca took Ohr, Sarah, Dylan and I home... and the ride home was hilarious! We were all singing at the top of our lungs to Highschool Musical.. and I'm so surprised Dylan knew all the words! Hahahah. Got home around 1:30 am and I had such an upset stomache.

Today is Mykka's debut practice! So I'm pretty excited ;D and hopefully I'm not the only one that's going to swim? hahaha.